“Meditation is not about stopping thoughts, but recognizing that we are more than our thoughts and our feelings.” — Arianna Huffington

So - meditation. As you’ll see in many of my posts, I’m a huge fan. Meditation is an amazing tool for women with ADHD, but developing a solid practice has definitely been a process. 

For years, I thought meditation was about not having thoughts. I remember telling a naturopathic doctor I was seeing in my 20s that I could “never” meditate - I couldn’t just turn off my thoughts. He patiently tried to explain that that wasn’t how it worked, but with my monkey mind always going 100 miles an hour,  I remained unconvinced.

I’m not sure what finally clicked, but I started meditating, on and off, several years ago. I always noticed a change for the better in my attitude and ability to cope within days of restarting my practice. For the last several months, I’ve been meditating first thing every morning, often for a few moments during the day and in the evening, and the change has been eye-opening (meditators will note the pun there since meditation is often practiced with one’s eyes closed.) 😉

One of the main factors in the rejuvenation of my practice has been my ADHD diagnosis, which I got last year, at the age of 64. (Better late than never, right?) So many facets of my life, including my monkey mind, suddenly made sense. I wasn’t flakey or impatient, or overly enthusiastic (well, OK, I kinda am one or two of those…),  I simply have a brain that works differently. 

Noted ADHD specialist, Dr. Ned Hallowell, uses the example of a brain with ADHD being like a race car with a powerful engine and weak brakes. In my case, I often felt like that powerful engine came with somewhat iffy steering as well as weak brakes!

Somehow, just knowing I have ADHD and learning a lot about how an ADHD brain functions (and how ADHD affects women in particular) made it easier for me to show myself some grace when it came to meditation, which, in turn, makes it easier to show myself some grace when it comes to my ADHD. It’s a positive cycle. (Gotta love a good positive cycle!) 😁

My regular meditation practice has helped me be much more present, which, as a woman with ADHD, can sometimes be challenging. I’m now far more likely to catch myself when my mind wants to hopscotch ahead to where I’m planning to be three steps from now. That awareness helps me return to my breath and pause, just long enough to come back to the here and now.

Transformational is one of those words that’s hurled around willy-nilly, but, in this case, it’s completely appropriate (and not hyperbole). Being able to notice my powerful engine overrunning my brakes (and steering) makes it much easier to downshift and get back in control.

Monkey mind? Oh, it’s still there 🐵 - my thoughts can really get swinging through the jungle from time to time, leaping from one vine to the next. (A friend of mine used to just stare in wonder as I would start talking about something and then  go off down a series of rabbit holes and completely lose track of where my original thought was going.) 

Fortunately, meditation isn’t about stopping your thoughts, it’s about grounding on something like your breath or a sound, using it as a home base for your attention to rest on gently, and then simply noticing life and allowing whatever is happening to simply “be”. If (actually when) you hop on a train of thought, you return to your home base as soon as you realize it, even if you’re several stations down the line.

Meditation isn’t about avoiding or resisting thoughts (or anything else). It’s about noticing, eventually, that you left your home base to go wandering and then to return - gently. No self-recriminations allowed.

My regular meditation practice has also been helped by having a great meditation teacher (who also has ADHD) guiding on my journey. Jeff Warren, who co-authored the book 10% Happier, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics has a daily meditation called The Daily Trip on the Calm app. His humor, uncanny ability to create meditations that relate directly to real life situations and emotions (as opposed to just focusing on general mental well-being), along with his Canadian accent (I always hope he’ll use “out” or “about” or one of those words that are a delight to me when he pronounces them) help start my day in a great frame of mind. And all through an app on my phone - freakin’ amazing. 

Like me, many women with ADHD go undiagnosed for years, even decades. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who wondered,  “What is wrong with me? I should be able to start a project/finish a project/remember a project... "

Beating ourselves up can make it even harder to cope with some of the challenges. Meditation takes the edge off for me and allows me to keep somewhat of an even keel. Learning how to manage ADHD with simple practices like meditation can smooth out some of the bumpier patches on our journey. It's not a be-all/end-all solution, but it is a tool that's earned an important place in my toolbox.

So, while my ADHD is here to stay, so is my meditation practice.