Short-term self care -

Using Your Available Resources

When thinking about self-care, we often think of a long soak in the tub, a massage, or taking a walk outside. All these are great examples, but sometimes we need a more easily accessible resource.

When I was a supervisor in a call center - seemingly a lifetime ago - we always had several options for associates to find the information they needed. However, often they’d prefer to just call my line and ask me the questions. It seems like no matter how many times I “suggested” they use their available resources, they’d continue to call.

But thinking about it, I realized that I was one of their available resources. And I was handier and easier than digging through a bunch of information in the papers tacked to their cubicle walls or looking online in their help documents when they had a cranky customer on the line. I wanted to be their last line of defense, but I was often their first line, and I understand.

When customers got cranky they just wanted to resolve the situation as quickly and painlessly as possible (and boy did they get cranky! I once had a woman tell me I ruined her family’s Christmas because one tee shirt out of her $1200 order wasn’t available… I wanted to tell her that I was sorry that her family was so shallow, but I thought discretion was the better part of valor, and I kept my mouth shut - except for apologizing of course - the customer is always right and all that…)

So, what’s my first line of defense? During some stressful times in my life - losing a close friend, selling our horse farm, or our family losing our jobs managing a large estate because my husband was threatened physically by another employee and we had the audacity to complain - I know my available resources were meditating, spending time outdoors (except we lost our jobs in January and it was a very cold winter - so that wasn’t high on my list), journalling, speaking with a counselor (not exactly in the budget when all 3 of us lost our jobs and we still had a mortgage to pay and the occasional need for groceries and all). All of those were like the associate’s help documents - I knew there was help to be found there, but I needed a quicker, less painful alternative - which was often Haagen Dazs,  playing solitaire on my phone or reading a mindless romance. Long-term solutions they were not, but they were short-term first lines of defense.

It’s important to note here that I’m a firm believer in meditation, journalling, and seeing a counselor to manage life’s ups and downs. Having solid practices in place will help you navigate challenging times more easily, but there are times when a quick fix is called for.

While I’m going through these times, I offer myself some grace. I know I won’t live on ice cream long-term. I know I’ll stop getting lost playing solitaire for hours, I know I’ll stop reading the mindless romances - not totally, mind, but they become an occasional diversion rather than the mainstay of my reading material.

I came across a social post a while ago that said self-care is living a life from which you don’t need to escape. Which is a lovely concept and I wish it for every one of us, but sometimes life throws something at us that we do need to escape from, even if it’s just long enough to eat a bowl of ice cream or play a game of solitaire.

So, remember, if you’re going through something that requires a first-line method of self-care, offer yourself some grace, understand that this phase of your life isn’t going to last forever, and go get a bowl of ice cream and a romance novel.